“What was wrong with Applebee’s? It wasn’t McDonald’s, Burger King or KFC. Applebee’s had a menu with both aquatic and terrestrial proteins, starches and vegetables.”
“I don’t eat at chain restaurants!” A woman named Lynda shared her dining standards with me during the first of two or three dates. It didn’t go much further than that. It was a curious comment at the time, one which I didn’t understand. I grew up eating at chain restaurants, and I enjoyed them. Lynda was a voluptuous, brown-skinned woman with short natural hair. I met Lynda at a day party in Washington, DC. She was friendly when we met. She spotted me first, and wandered over to me as the music played, drink in hand and dressed in a halter top, fitted jeans and heels. I liked the vibe, and bought her another drink, the gentlemanly thing to do. We exchanged numbers after talking some more. I was younger and innocent then.
What’s Wrong with Applebee’s?
“I don’t eat at chain restaurants!” There was displeasure in Lynda’s voice. It was our first time meeting after the party, and we stood outside of an Applebee’s restaurant after eating. What was wrong with Applebee’s? It wasn’t McDonald’s, Burger King or KFC. Applebee’s had a menu with both aquatic and terrestrial proteins, starches and vegetables. Applebee’s furthermore had a compliment of appetizers, deserts and a bar. You could even watch sporting events if you wanted to on one of the many big and beautiful TVs in the bar area.
It was on par with restaurants like Chili’s, Outback Steakhouse, Red Lobster and my Friday night go to at the time, Ruby Tuesday. I spent many Friday nights at Ruby Tuesday enjoying orders of shrimp fondue with freshly fried nachos, a cheeseburger and fries; all of it washed down with a Pepsi or Coke mixed with grenadine strawberry syrup. YUM. It was a lot of calories, but it was comfort food, and a great way to finish a long week of work for the federal government.
All the restaurants I described had one thing in common. They were ‘chain’ restaurants, and again, they were perfectly fine where I came from. I have fond memories of the breakfast buffet at the Main Street Ponderosa restaurant in Buffalo as a kid where I filled my stomach with all the eggs, corned beef hash and potatoes I could eat. It was great.
Not So Nice Restaurants
“This is not a nice restaurant.” I met a beautiful, brown-skinned woman named Christina years earlier in Charlotte, NC while I was an undergraduate student at Johnson C. Smith University. She was in her late twenties or early thirties while I was in my early twenties. There was a party of some sort at the Red Lobster on Independence Boulevard. A random conversation started between us when she told me that I was one of the most handsome men at that gathering. I wore my favorite brown Banana Republic sweater that night. Christina gave me my first education on the different tiers of restaurants.
“Some people act like coming to Red Lobster is a big deal, but this really isn’t a high-end seafood restaurant,” she said. I nodded my head as she spoke, not understanding the depth of what she was saying. Food was food to me. After all, wasn’t a restaurant where you could order bowls of New England Clam Chowder, endless shrimp and an assortment of lobster dishes a good restaurant?
A La Carte and Fine Dining
“Your sides don’t come with your proteins in a la carte restaurants and you have to pay for them separately at steakhouses like Ruth’s Chris.” Sometime later a girlfriend from inner-city South Florida named Sandra explained to me what ‘a la carte’ restaurants were. “Sometimes when you go into places like that, people look at you funny,” she continued. We didn’t have Ruth’s Chris in Buffalo, and we never went to such places, so I had no experience with these types of restaurants.
“You don’t know what FINE DINING is, Dr. Dunbar?” Kevin Samuels was shocked that I was unfamiliar with fine dining restaurants in my early 40s and having a PhD from the University of Michigan. It was three years before he died in 2022, and I was at his Men in Training weekend in Dallas. It was something I should have known based upon his voice intonation. I was a doctor after all.
Aspects Not Necessarily Taught in School
I love telling this story because for one thing we never discussed it in my PhD program, just science. People assume that having such social refinements come with one’s education, but not necessarily. They come from home in some instances. The also come from social affiliations like fraternities and sororities, or some form of ‘finishing school’. Many people have never heard of finishing school interestingly, particularly in the lower-middle and lower classes. I was not clear on the concept until Kevin Samuels and I talked about it that weekend. Think of the Kennedy kids and the social training they likely received as children of a wealthy ambassador and politician.
When you think about these a la carte/fine dining restaurants, think about Ruth Chris or Morton’s Steakhouse. Think about high-end Italian restaurants like Carbone’s. If you’re in the Washington, DC area, think about restaurants like Rare Steakhouse & Tavern, Ocean Prime or Truluck’s (seafood). Think about Russell’s Steakhouse if you’re in my home city of Buffalo, NY. The ambiance is beautiful at all these restaurants and the food is eloquent. Furthermore, you won’t see people who frequent chain restaurants there. Expect to pay $100-$200 for yourself and at least $300-$400 or more for two or more people. Is that a lot of money to you? There’s no shame if in fact it is, as everyone is trying to survive these days.
Something Mom and Pop?
“Maybe someplace Mom and Pop?” I was introduced to the concept of ‘Mom and Pop’ restaurants by an ex on her birthday. This gets us into the murky territory of ladies and their birthdays. Many take them very seriously and want to feel like a princess on those days. While the most straightforward way is for someone to tell you what they like and where they want to go, some ladies want you to figure it out. This experience is exhausting to recall, but it did introduce me to the concept of Mom and Pop restaurants.
Mom and Pop restaurants are not the much-reviled chain restaurants. They were restaurants typically owned by families and started by figurative mothers and fathers. You must do some research on these establishments if you eat at chain restaurants, or don’t eat out much. I did likewise find a nice Italian Mom and Pop restaurant in this instance.
Champagne Tastes
“Let’s go to the Chesapeake Grill in Crystal City.” I met someone else as I transitioned to my life in Washington, DC on a Delta flight. Tamika was coincidentally a member of the crimson and cream-colored Black Greek sorority. We talked a little bit after I got there and started settling in before communications eventually died out. She suggested that I meet her at a beautiful restaurant at the top of the Crystal City Hyatt one evening.
That night it was closed, so we could not go. I thought we were just going to another restaurant. Years later a mentor treated a group of us to the Chesapeake Grill, and upon examination of the menu, I was surprised to find prices in the amounts I described earlier in this piece, $50-$60 or more for an entrée, for example. A fun fact for the men who might be dating someone having ‘champagne tastes’, some ladies will gauge what you have to spend and what you are willing to spend immediately by insisting on going to a la carte/fine dining restaurants, so be mindful.
Knowing Your Audience and Reading the Room
“I don’t eat at chain restaurants!” I’ve learned that it’s important to identify and know your audience when moving around in the world, especially in urban centers, ‘NFL cities’ which the aforementioned Kevin Samuels, noted where most black people are concentrated. It turns out that Lynda belonged to a prominent Black Greek sorority whose colors were pink and green, and whose members were known for being beautiful, dainty, prissy and driven.
The ladies who joined this particular sorority were groomed to be the best of the best, and to only demand the best of everything. Once I understood this, it made a little more sense. I’m not picking on her and her sorority, but I’m just communicating the importance of knowing who you’re dealing with. Upper crust people tend to frequent non-chain restaurants. They can be government officials, lawyers, or businesspeople, in addition to ‘aspirationals’ from the middle class who want to feel rich. Dr. Thomas Stanley talked extensively about them in his Millionaire Nextdoor series.
Buffets, Chinese Restaurants and Subway: Other Food Hangups
Chain restaurants are not the only restaurants people detest and refuse to eat at. There is a long list of others and the reasons vary. One time a relative hijacked a family gathering because he didn’t eat at buffets. We were all set to go when he dug his heels in and took over our plans. He had gotten sick at a buffet years earlier and was permanently scarred.
A girlfriend refused to eat Chinese food once because of the unsanitary conditions of one particular restaurant that made the news. They also had a general reputation for uncleanliness, but that didn’t apply to all Chinese restaurants. Her coworker laughed out loud when I shared that I was undeterred and indulged in some myself earlier that night. A lovely but high maintenance member of the church I once attended refused to eat at Subway on a group outing because of the way the food is out and openly handled. It’s impossible to keep everyone happy all the time.
Michelin Star Restaurants
I learned of yet another classification of restaurants shortly before publishing this short story. That class is called ‘Michelin Star’ restaurants. These are high-end restaurants and there are quite a few here in the Washington, DC area. I suspect that there are quite a few where you live too, especially if you live in a major metropolitan area. I may have eaten at establishments like this, but not intentionally.
Where did I hear about Michelin Star Restaurants? An excellent YouTube content creator who calls himself ‘Medium Man’ made a video about ladies lamenting about eating at restaurants like the Outback Steakhouse while glorifying eating at Michelin Star restaurants. I’m not telling you, the reader, to eat at Michelin Star restaurants, but since this post was about not eating at chain restaurants, this was valuable to add. Therapist and YouTube content creator Dr. Orion Taraban also mentioned the significance of Michelin Star restaurants in his excellent book about modern relationships entitled, The Value of Others.
Closing Thoughts on Not Chain and Non-Chain Restaurants
“I don’t eat at chain restaurants!” I’m going to close this essay by thanking Lynda for this teachable moment. It punctuated the many lessons I’ve cobbled together about this subject over the years described throughout this essay. “You don’t have any swag,” Lynda also told me regarding my perceived level of blackness which I will likely revisit in another piece. Lynda wasn’t a fun date as you may have surmised. She certainly left her mark though, and most everything was educational. So, thank you, Lynda. Please also tip your servers properly no matter where you choose to dine, especially if they give you stellar service.
The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story Part One is available in the eBook, Hardcover and Paperback Editions
Writing a book was the genesis of my blogging and becoming a video content creator. I have published part one of my book project entitled, The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story. It is currently available on Amazon in eBook, hardcover, and paperback formats. The paperback format is available on IngramSpark, and signed hardcover and paperback copies on my online store entitled Big Words Authors via credit payment. Payment using Cash App, PayPal, Venmo and Zelle is also available. Reach out to me for further details. Finally visit the page discussing the book. Please consider visiting it to learn more about the project and see promotional content I’ve created surrounding the project.
My Brother’s Very Poignant Words Involving Gas Money Coming Back to Me
“Are you going to give me any gas money tonight?” My brother’s words from years ago popped into my psyche one morning on my way to my government job. This happens to you as a writer at the most surprising times. Memories and words of all kinds revisit you as though they were beamed into your mind from outer space like on Star Trek. My brother asked some of our closest friends this question years ago when we were teenagers in Buffalo, NY. Those were great times. “Are you going to put any money in for the gas?”
Friday and Saturday Night Adventures
“Are you going to give me any gas money?” My brother diligently saved up his money in high school to get his first car, a blue Chevrolet Citation, and after that a red Volkswagen Jetta. Learning to drive and having your own vehicle were important rights of passage and status symbols in the early 1990s in Buffalo. Car ownership benefitted not only him, but also myself and our two closest friends at the time whom I’ll call ‘D’ and ‘G’. We became best friends with G in elementary school, and my brother met D at the high school we attended.
A car allowed us to start doing something we hadn’t been able to do up to the point. We could now go out and party! This consisted of going to local college parties, and in some instances, venues that we weren’t old enough, or just barely old enough, to get into. It was all new and it was great at the time. I was around girls my own age during the week, but come the weekend I was in the places with older ladies. The soundtrack for those nights consisted late 1980s and early 1990s hip hop and R&B music both in my brother’s car and at the parties.
G was my age, while D was from my brother’s high school class and was a few years older than me. He went away to college at a prestigious university in New York City. D partied all the time in the City and wanted to party whenever he came home for visits. G wanted to party every weekend. It became a routine eventually where G would call our house on Friday afternoons and ask my brother if we were going out. We did not have any concrete plans until we received this call. Eventually the call culminated in a key question from my brother. “Are you going to give me any money for gas?”
Liquid Gold
“They have money for beer and weed, but they never contribute anything to the gas or the tolls!” Sometimes we would travel to the nearby City of Niagara Falls to party. This involved tolls for use of the Grand Island bridges. This added to my brother’s overhead expenses if no one else contributed. My brother never got on me about this, interestingly. Maybe it was because I was his ‘little bro’. Or maybe also, because I didn’t have a job at the time.
A gallon of gasoline cost less than $2 back then up, and much less in the southern states. It’s laughable now as a working adult man earning a living. Gasoline for my car is just one of the many expenses of life. As young men in our late teens and early twenties though, petroleum gasoline, the lifeblood of cars, was a considerable expense and someone had to pay for it. This one resource, which our country was always at war over around the globe, was one of the keys to life in our country, and it was the key to our weekend nighttime adventures.
Petty Pocket Watching or Larger Implications?
My brother’s actions could be misconstrued as ‘Pocket Watching’ in the modern urban dictionary. This term signifies the monitoring and policing the money of others. It’s just plain envy and hate in some instances. In others, it’s seeing individuals have access to luxuries and pleasures that you don’t. The person may have borrowed money from you in other instances and hasn’t paid you back, while visibly splurging on themselves. Finally, they may be asking you to do something while not pitching in, in any way, in this instance contributing gas money.
This goes beyond our early adventures in the 1990s. Friends, relatives and acquaintances of all kinds assess one’s level of generosity and foresight. The late Kevin Samuels emphasized this when I met him. Did you bring anything to the family gathering, the family reunion, or the holiday dinner? When you were invited, did you contribute anything to the barbecue without being asked? In other instances, did you bring a bottle of wine to the dinner you were invited to? Have you gone on a trip you don’t have the money for while expecting others to cover you? Generally, have you thought about compensating the person you’ve made a request of in any way? Have you contributed any gas money in this instance? The gas money in this story is also a proxy for generosity and foresight in this situation, important qualities in the adult world.
Reflections on Our Use of the Time
I hope my brother and our friends laugh at this. I’m certain that they will. Those were innocent times and, in some ways, an informal right of passage. I would not understand the significance of it until much later in terms of social class and the people who were at those college parties, nightclubs and house parties in relation to how we were raised. It was exciting, but I wasn’t comfortable socially in those days talking to females and even dancing. I wanted to be social. I just didn’t know how; though our friends D and G seemed to have it down to a science.
Did we collectively wasted a lot of time and energy spending money and staying out late at night? I ponder this a lot when thinking back to that magical era. They say you gain perspective and wisdom with age. Some people do, while others don’t. Fifteen years later after discovering the Rich Dad Poor Dad book series about financial education, money and wealth building, I wondered where my life would’ve been had I spent that time learning about investing and getting a return on that same money we were spending going out to the Western New York nightclubs and parties.
I know that some skeptics will read this and argue that as teenagers we didn’t necessarily have the capacity to learn about such things. However, we do know now that many youngsters have the aptitude to learn such things, but simply lack the teachers. But that’s a different topic for a different day. What about you? Could your younger years have been better spent?
Closing Thoughts on Gas Money and Late Night Adventures
“Are you going to give me any gas money?” I’m going to close this trip down memory lane here, which is also a reflection on early lessons about consideration for others and generosity. I decided to maintain some anonymity for my brother and our friends in this piece. This essay is an example of my writing style which blends together humor, history and lessons about life; at least in my nonfictional pieces. I do have some ideas for fiction as well. People who read my writings should always walk away laughing and thinking.
Thank you to my older brother and our friends D and G for those memories. D and G weren’t bad guys. We were all just young. There are many more stories I could tell about those times—like the time one of them tossed that empty 40-ounce glass bottle out of my brother’s car window while on the Grand Island Bridge. We were drinking Olde English or St. Ides malt liquor, just like the rappers of our time. That bottle danced around on the guard rail before crashing to the ground.
“HEY,” my brother, the adult of the group yelled as the three of us laughed hard over the music playing on the radio. That was until we saw ominous red and blue lights flashing, causing us to go silent and my brother to pull off to the side of the expressway. We were surely in trouble for that bottle.
“Can I see your license and registration? Do you know why I pulled you over Mr. Dunbar? Your driver’s side tail light is out,” the officer said as we all sighed thinking we were in trouble for the bottle. “I’m giving you a ticket, but if you get your light fixed within 10 business days, you’ll just have to show proof that it’s fixed and you won’t have to pay anything,” the officer concluded before sending us on our way into that Western New York night.
A Quick Plug For My Book
If you’re unfamiliar with me and my writings, I am a self-published author and I wrote a two-part story about how playing sports teaches us lessons about life. I think some form of this short story appears in part two of The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story which is forthcoming. Part one is available for sale now. You can purchase signed hardcover and paperback copies here at the Big Words Authors Store. The ebook, hardcover and paperback editions are also available on Amazon and IngramSpark. Please consider purchasing a copy for yourself or someone you know. Wherever you purchase a copy, please leave a review.
The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story
This story is another promotional essay for my two-part book project entitled, The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story. As described on the introductory page I created for the book, and the numerous pieces I created surrounding the book, I have interviewed 30-40 players and coaches from Section VI. My research revealed several interesting facts. Many stories paralleled mine, even those of the more successful players. One area that many of us had in common was that we played in basketball programs and not just teams. I discuss the differences between basketball programs and teams in this piece. We had a mini-college basketball program at Hutch-Tech High School.
This essay and my story are based out of Western New York, but the themes apply to your locality as well. There are videos from my sports YouTube channel throughout this piece related to my basketball story. Some of the images in this piece were personally shot by the author. Others were donated during the research for this book project from Coach Ken Jones and his family.
Basketball Programs and Teams
The late Dr. Kenneth Leon Jones created a mini-college basketball program during his tenure as coach at Hutch-Tech High School. He did not just assemble teams of players every year and roll the balls out to let them play freely. Me and some of my interviewees made this connection during my research. In writing this project and all the promotional pieces for it, I want to acknowledge something important. Not everyone looks back on Coach Jones and his efforts with appreciation and reverence like I and others do. He had his share of detractors in building his program and running it his way. Some were on the bench with him. Some were in the student body and others were his fellow coaches in the Yale Cup itself. Modie Cox said the same thing about Pat Monti. Coach Monti was the architect of the Niagara Falls LaSalle basketball dynasty.
Blowing Off Steam on the Hardwood at West Hertel
My research for The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story started with a visit to see Coach Jones and his wife in 2012 or 2013. Some fellow alumni said that they saw him in stores like Walmart around Western New York so I knew he was still alive. Adonis Coble gave me his phone number ultimately. He got it from Michael Mann who regularly had lunch with Coach Jones. No. 23 and No. 11 were seniors on our 1991-92 Hutch-Tech Boys’ Basketball Team, my sophomore year.
I had not spoken with Coach Jones in almost 20 years. Seeing him was just like old times despite how my final year playing under him ended. I interviewed him in the back of his San Antonio, Texas house. I asked him how he came to be at Hutch-Tech High School in the first place among other things. Someone of high influence thought he would be the perfect ‘Skipper’ for the Hutch-Tech Boys’ Basketball Team. He thought Coach Jones could build a successful basketball program. It was someone all of us from those times knew quite well.
He was at West Hertel Elementary School on a late Friday afternoon according to the legend. Faculty members gathered from schools around the city late on Fridays to play pickup basketball. I helped Coach Phil Richardson with the Hutch-Tech Boys’ Basketball Team during breaks after initially graduating from Tech myself. I too played with the faculty late on Friday afternoons a handful of times. It was a fun way for them to blow off steam and communicate after long weeks of teaching the children of Buffalo.
Recruited to Build the Hutch-Tech Boys’ Basketball Program
“He tore you up when he got out there and played with you,” said Frankie Harris of Hutch-Tech. He was a player from the Class of 1989 and jokingly recalled playing basketball with Coach Jones during our interview. Coach Jones shared with me there was one faculty member who was a very good leaper. He did not like being guarded by Coach Jones because of his physical play. Those of us who played basketball with Coach Jones know that he was in fact a physical player. He was not shy about using forearms to impede your movements or to put his body into you when going for a rebound.
“I want you to come to Hutch-Tech to coach the boys’ basketball team!” Mr. Joseph Gentile was one of the participants of those games. He presided over Hutch-Tech as Principal when it achieved the ‘National School of Excellence’ distinction in the late 1980s. Mr. Gentile ran Hutch-Tech with an iron fist. He arguably witnessed its ascension as a school and its decline to a certain degree. That was my brother’s freshman year and Coach Jones’ first year. In any case the bearded, olive skinned, bow-legged administrator, saw something in the hoarse-voiced basketball enthusiast. He likewise recruited him to coach the boys’ basketball team at the H-shaped building at 250 South Elmwood Avenue.
I knew Mr. Gentile for running our high school but not running up and down basketball courts shooting hoops. I laughed thinking about it. Again, I guess even school principals needed to blow off steam after a long week of managing schools and dealing with students.
His approach and methods were unlike anything the players on the 1988-89 team and the student body had seen before. They played mostly street basketball at local parks and in leagues like the Randy Smith League in Buffalo. No. 13 Curtis Brooks whom I have cited in many of these pieces made an insightful observation when we talked. He noted that in ‘The Randy’ as many former players affectionately refer to it, athletic ability and size were the keys to winning. It was not the fundamentals of basketball, which were the hallmark of the Engineers’ new coach and his program.
An Extravagant Pregame Warmup Routine
“We were not doing just the regular layup line. Jones was on some other stuff. Players from other schools were looking at us strangely. I could not understand why we could not just do the regular layup line for warmups!” Jerrold ‘Pep’ Skillon noted in our candid interview, one of my favorites, Coach Jones’ pregame warmup routine. It was more intricate than any other in the Yale Cup. “I wondered to myself, what is this?”
I took Coach Jones’ ‘Seven Pass Drill’ and his pregame warm up routine for granted my sophomore season. I assumed that it was all normal when I earned my roster spot. His methods of teaching basketball were a culture shock for his initial crop of players. It was a very different way of playing the game and assembling a team than anyone was used to. It emphasized patient and controlled offenses and disciplined man-to-man team defense. There was another hallmark to his program aside from his fundamentals-based approach though. He looked for a certain kind of kid which was controversial in and of itself.
Establishing a Code and Looking for a Certain kind of Kid
“Jonesy looked for a certain kind of kid!” I first heard the term ‘a certain kind of kid’ from another faculty member who worked alongside Coach Jones in the athletic department. This faculty member asked to remain anonymous, but this phrase was echoed numerous times throughout my research for The Engineers. What kind of kid was he looking for? He handed out packets with an exhaustive list of attributes he was and was not looking for before tryouts. See the picture below for a sample of his list.
I looked back at the list while finishing my final drafts for The Engineers. I saw something I missed as a high school student athlete and in earlier drafts. He explicitly wrote, “We want players that are loyal to each other, the coach, and the school. We will go with boys, if necessary, with lesser ability to have team loyalty.” The last sentence said so much. It explained much of what I and other players involved with the program experienced during that time.
You can infer a lot from that one quote. Winning was the number one objective, but he looked to do it in a certain way. He wanted kids who listened, obeyed, and submitted. He looked to establish a specific code and a culture, an environment in which many players did not fit. He was different things to different people and not everyone appreciated him and his methods. To learn about Coach Jones and to hear what some of his players said about him, see the video below.
Maintaining a Program
Once you set up such a program, how hard is it to maintain it and to keep it rolling? Depending on the conditions in which you are coaching, it can be quite difficult. Our league did not have a formal ‘feeder system’ for the varsity basketball teams. I described this my piece looking back at the Yale Cup. The varsity basketball coaches in our league at the time thus had to do more work. They did extra work try keep their programs successful from year to year, often without extra pay.
The coaches in the Yale Cup also did not have paid assistant coaches. Assistant coaches are important for numerous reasons. They help guide teams in practices. They help with things like the Xs and Os standpoint and tracking fouls. Finally, they help manage the psyches and personalities of the players. Managing and monitoring the personalities/struggles of 10-15 players is a lot for one coach, in addition to doing everything else.
Another aspect is getting a steady stream of talent and developing the talent that you do get. My book, The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story, takes place at the lone technical high school in Buffalo. Admittance to Hutch-Tech required passing an entrance exam. Not just any kid could go there. The coaches at our school thus only had access to a certain segment of kids in the city. Every class at Hutch-Tech in my era had talent. But how many kids in each class wanted to make the three-to-four-month commitment to play basketball each year? And which kids would listen and submit to the coaching?
The Riverside Boys’ Basketball Program: Championships, Conflicts, Fundamentals, Injuries and Repeating
“I hoped to build a perennially strong program at Riverside. Injuries really hurt us the year after we won the Yale Cup and the Class C sectional!” Coach Bill Russell shared his aspirations with me for his early 1990s Riverside teams in our insightful interview. The 1991-92 Riverside Frontiersman won the Yale Cup championship with a record of 11-2 the year after our Hutch-Tech team won it (pictured below). I interviewed Coach Russell and one of his star players, Ed Harris and learned a lot. I found that they too had a program at Riverside with many of the same aspects we had at Hutch-Tech.
They returned their core group of players for the 1992-93 season after winning the Class C sectional the previous year. They lost their 6’7” center, Walter Gravely, for most of that season due to a pelvic injury. This hurt their chances severely of defending their two titles. Injuries decimated many programs and seasons across sports, and they are something that cannot always be planned for. The Frontiersman also experienced their own personality conflicts and squabbles just as we did at Hutch-Tech.
These negative events arguably helped with the ascension of other teams in the Yale Cup at the time. McKinley and Seneca shared the Yale Cup title that 1992-93 season. They also paved the way for the ascension of the young Buffalo Traditional Bulls who began their rise that season. They logged upsets over both Hutch-Tech and Riverside, on their way to ruling the league for the next three years. See my interviews with Jason Rowe and Damien Foster to read more about this.
Players’ Skill Levels When You Get Them
Finally, what are the skill and talent levels of the kids that you are getting as a coach? Another major consideration is the level players are at when you get them. Many kids wanted to play basketball and excel at it in Buffalo in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Not everyone knew how to develop their abilities and skills though.
Not every kid had access to the tools to allow them to develop. Some came from homes that did not necessarily favor them developing their basketball skills. Coach Bill Russell from Riverside noted that many of his kids came from homes with no fathers which is significant. Once again the lack of a feeder system was significant too. We had a middle school boys’ basketball team at Campus West which I played on in seventh and eighth grades. It was not designed though for kids like myself who needed more development to excel. This meant that development had to come from someplace else.
And again, even if you get a crop of kids with some talent, are they coachable? And can you mold them into a cohesive unit? One coach in Section VI created a program that consistently won during that era. Read on to learn some more about how he did it.
The Buffalo Traditional Bulls: Athleticism, Talent and Skill
There were three teams that were strong every year during my short high school basketball journey. I will start with Buffalo Traditional from the Yale Cup. The Bulls were coached by the legendary but controversial Joe Cardinal. Coach ‘Card’ was loved by his players despite his many critics outside of the school. See my interviews with Damien Foster and Jason Rowe to learn some more about the Bulls teams under his leadership. Coach Cardinal’s name also came up in interviews with coaches and players from other schools.
“I am going to write a book called, All of The Way Without a Play!” Damien Foster shared that Coach Cardinal joked at times about not using any structure with his teams. Murmurings outside of Buffalo Traditional were that Coach Cardinal was always the benefactor of tremendous talent. Likewise, he never really coached his Bulls teams in the classic sense. Instead, just let them play and show their brilliance. They likewise rewarded him for it.
“When we played a St. Joe’s, we never beat them. My three years of playing at Traditional, we never beat them and that is because of the fundamentals part of it. We did not have it!” Adrian Baugh from Buffalo Traditional reflected on their matchups with St. Joe’s in our interview. “St. Joe’s had it, we had way more talent than them, but fundamentally they were better than we were at that time!” As successful as the Bulls were during those times, there was one team they frequently struggled with and there were reasons why.
The St. Joe’s Marauders: Consistency, Dominance and Fundamentals
“Sophomore year I played JV. We had a good year. Both years were pretty good. We never could beat St. Joe’s! I made varsity as a junior, so I was backing up Delwyn (Rhines). I was on the team with Delwyn Rhines, Shondell Dupree, Gerald Brown and Malik Campbell,” Dennis Wilson said reflecting on his days playing at Turner/Carroll High School.
“We always kind of – and I do not know if this is a public-school thing or an African American thing, but we always had problems with Joe’s. We did not understand the Xs and Os of basketball,” he continued. “They were good athletes – they were probably as good as athletically. We were probably a little bit more athletic, but they just understood the game. They just understood the game period.”
St. Joe’s Collegiate High School was a perennial power in the Monsignor Martin League. They competed with formidable foes like Turner/Carroll, Canisius and Cardinal O’Hara, to name a few in their conference. I did not have a lot of experience playing against the Marauders aside from one JV game my sophomore year. They had a distinct heritage. They also had modified, JV and varsity teams (the above-mentioned feeder system). They played disciplined basketball, and their players were always well trained by the time they became seniors. Two names that stand out to me from those years are Eric Eberz and Jeff Muszynski.
The LaSalle Explorers Basketball Dynasty: Structure, Discipline and No Nonsense!
“Our program was built on structure, discipline and no nonsense!” Finally, there was Coach Pat Monti’s LaSalle Explorers in Niagara Falls. LaSalle was the ‘bully on the block’ for Western New York basketball for 10 or more years, winning their Class A sectional and regularly making trips to Glens Falls in March. My interviews with Coach Monti, Carlos Bradberry and Tim Winn revealed numerous things.
First. Basketball was almost a religion in Niagara Falls and the players there trained early in the Biddie Leagues. Coach Monti thus had a steady crop of hungry and trained players. He got them into his system early, established his culture and expectations and they just kept winning.
Second. Coach Monti ran a program like Coach Jones that emphasized structure, discipline, and no nonsense in his own stern words. The players who came to him at LaSalle loved the game and wanted to develop, win, and continue to build the heritage of the program. They bought into what he taught them and as Carlos Bradberry shared with me, “Everyone had a role and accepted it.”
Coaches, Cultures and Systems
“Pat Monti was like the Greg Poppovich of high school basketball back then. That was the biggest thing. Talent-wise, body for body and person for person, we had some players, but they just were coached tremendously well,” Darris Thomas said about the coach of their crosstown rivals in Niagara Falls. “We summed it up by saying that they knew their roles and we did not.”
LaSalle and Niagara Falls Senior High Schools both played in the Niagara Frontier League, but they had a fierce rivalry within the city. My research revealed that Niagara Falls usually had the more talented rosters. The difference though was the coaching, game planning and the structure at LaSalle as described by Darris Thomas. It was the program that Coach Pat Monti ran.
A heritage was built at LaSalle over the course of 10 years. It was understood that there was a history and standards for the program when new players came in. There was regular contact with the older players even after they graduated, and it was always understood what the standards were. They never had to reinvent the wheel as they say, as other programs did. In The Engineers, I note that there was not a lot of interaction with the core of the 1990-91 championship team at Hutch-Tech in subsequent years. This would have been helpful for those of us charged with following in their footsteps. That is not to throw shade at anyone. It just is what it is.
What Makes a Good or a Bad Coach?
“Well at least you got to work with Kenny for a couple of years. I thought he tried hard and had everyone’s best interests at heart.” Coach Francis Daumen took over for Coach Jones the year after he retired. He served as an assistant coach my junior year. My basketball journey involved a coaching change which is not unusual in sports. Based upon my coming into the program under Coach Jones and what I expected for my final year, basketball just was not the same after he left. My senior season was an eventful year for Coach Daumen as well whom I realized was a good coach himself in retrospect.
“It sounds like he just was not a good coach if you ask me!” I shared my writing project with a friend years ago. I tried explaining the intricacies and nuances of running a basketball program. I tried explaining what happened surrounding our Hutch-Tech basketball program during my journey, the basis for my story. She responded with a snap judgement about Coach Jones which chapped my hide as they say.
That exchange taught me two things and I can laugh about it now. First, people sometimes want to respond without thinking and just want to be heard. So be careful of who you share your ideas with. Secondly, not everyone understands the intricacies of establishing a basketball program vs. assembling a basketball team.
A Basketball Program
The opening quote for this piece underscores the approach Coach Jones took to teaching the game to myself and others. He was a ‘fundamentals’ coach who did not believe in running a star system. He believed in teaching the game, instilling values, and mentoring his kids through the game.
The clergyman at his memorial service said that he ministered to us through basketball. This was true as most of us remember his many anecdotes, quotes and stories. We also remember his jokes. This is in addition to all of his basketball drills and strategies.
He wanted to win games through galvanizing players under a common culture and a system. Over a course of years this is no minor undertaking. It is not easy, especially when it involves subjugating individual agendas.
“If I scored 15 points and it takes points from someone else or leaves time on the clock – I would rather win than get mine. I still think some guys also wanted to win, but they wanted to get theirs. And that is a hard thing to balance when kids are 15, 16 or 17 years old.” These words were from Christain J. Souter. He was a member of the 1990-91 Hutch-Boys’ Basketball Team and a captain my sophomore year. His words epitomized the challenges in attempting to create and maintain a program like the one Coach Jones and others created.
Coaches Wanting Better for Their Players
“I do not want to be that type of coach where when kids leave, they do not remember anything positive about the experience!” Coach Samuel ‘Quinn’ Coffey discussed his coaching philosophy during our interview. Quinn was a Kensington Knight and graduated in the Class of 1992. He now coached the game in Baltimore, Maryland.
I attended SUNY Brockport for one year and we played some intramural basketball together, long before I started writing The Engineers. I saw his enthusiasm for the game and that he cared about the kids he would coach one day. His experience at Kensington High School motivated him. He strove to be the best coach he could be for all his players, not just the most talented ones.
“I was more concerned with it being a good experience and having the kids get something out of it.” Coach Bill Russell from Riverside shared his top priorities when coaching with me during our interview. His words surprised me. His revelation motivated me to add his and Coach Coffey’s reflections to this piece. They underscore the fact that there are multiple approaches to coaching, some of which do not often show up in the box score and on the statistical sheets.
Playing in Basketball Programs: An Important Tip For Younger Players
“If I could do it all over again, I would ask myself, ‘What is the most natural thing I could do right here on the basketball court now versus just playing in the system,” Carlos James Gant from City Honors said in our interview. “I think the guys who do that have excellent careers and might still be good players.
“We had a motion offense, but you have a three or four role. You also have more liberty to find these gaps, and the more you find those gaps you are going to score. The games where I did that, I had big games. The games where I did not, they were all over the place. That is what I would do. I would just be more aggressive.”
Basketball programs use specific offensive and defensive plays and strategies. Coach Romeo McKinney was known for his defenses for example (pictured above). Players are coached up in specific ways that do not necessarily come into play when playing street basketball. Many players must learn how to play organized basketball in a program. At the end of the day, the goal is still to put the ball in the hoop more than your opponent.
Carlos James Gant’s words underscore a lesson I also personally had to learn. That is the importance of combining your organized game with your street game so that you are just naturally playing and being both aggressive and smart. It is a little-known secret to playing in basketball programs, but an important one. Arthur Agee and William Gates showed the blending of organized and street basketball in the documentary Hoop Dreams. I wrote essays in tribute to them. The following video is another offering from my sports YouTube channel and it discusses another important basketball and life lesson.
Having a Vision for YOUR Game and YOUR Life
“Jones did not teach the one on one-type stuff. We rarely did the one on one (isolation basketball). All of the great dribble drive moves and basic handles – I did not have that. I did not have a freaky handle but that was Jones. Jones did not teach us that,” Pep Skillon said reflecting on his time as an Engineer.
“You know what Pep? You are right!” I thought about my own basketball education as Pep reflected on his. Another teammate made the observation the year after Coach Jones retired but in a different way. He pointed out that I had a basic game in a sarcastic tone. It was true. I developed into a system player. I was a good role player in Coach Jones’ program. I did not seek to develop myself beyond his program though. It did not occur to me. No one in my immediate circle called it to my attention either.
After high school I learned to experiment with my game. I found that I could do some fun and imaginative things on the court. I had fun doing them too. It is a lesson that translates forward into the adult and working worlds. You should always have a vision for yourself and your life. Your employers and supervisors may have their own plans they may fit you into. The same is true for your parents and significant others in some instances. But what do you want? What is your plan for yourself and your life? You should always have a vision for yourself, or develop one.
Closing Thoughts
Thank you for reading this promotional/teaser piece for The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story. I intend to create more, via print and video, as I journey through the final steps of completing the book. I created a page here on Big Words Authors for the purpose of giving a background of the book and grouping all the promotional pieces such as this in one place for interested readers. On my first blogging platform, the Big Words Blog Site, there are interviews of some of the most accomplished Section VI players from my era including: Jason Rowe, Tim Winn, Carlos Bradberry and Damien Foster. I also interviewed legendary LaSalle Head Basketball Coach, Pat Monti. Finally, there are several other basketball-related essays related to my book project. If you liked this piece, please share it on your social media and leave a comment beneath this piece.
The Big Words LLC Newsletter
For the next phase of my writing journey, I’m starting a monthly newsletter for my writing and video content creation company, the Big Words LLC. In it, I plan to share inspirational words, pieces from this blog and my first blog, and select videos from my four YouTube channels. Finally, I will share updates for my book project The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story. Your personal information and privacy will be protected. Click this link and register using the sign-up button at the bottom of the announcement. If there is some issue signing up using the link provided, you can also email me at bwllcnl@gmail.com . Yours in good sports. Best Regards.
The genus and species for the pig whose meat ends up on our dinner tables is “Sus Linnaeus”. As a scientist, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to add the scientific name of the pig to the opening of this piece. It’s classified as an “Omnivore” which means it eats both animal and plant matter itself. The meat I referred to in the opening sentence is the “other white meat”, pork. I’ve actually never considered pork to be in the company of poultry, but a commercial from earlier this century described it as such. Throughout my life, the other white meat has stirred numerous emotions in those around me and has frequently been a discussion piece. With Thanksgiving 2021 approaching, it will likewise serve as the basis for this humorous reflection/story.
Pork In Children’s Media
“Th-Th-The…..Th-Th-The….THAT’S ALL FOLKS!” Before I get into the meat and potatoes of this piece, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the celebration of pork in pop culture. Perhaps the most famous cartoon pig is none other than “Porky Pig” from Warner Brothers “Looney Tunes” gang. Porky’s iconic ending for the cartoons featuring the famous cast of characters came to mind as I was close to preparing this piece for publishing.
There’s also “Ms. Piggy” from The Muppet Show and the “Pigs In Space” skit. “Piglet” was also one of “Winnie the Pooh’s” sidekicks. There was also the popular children’s story Charlotte’s Web about a pig which was eventually going to be used for a meal and a spider it befriended.
Perhaps my most memorable pig caricature didn’t come from TV though. It came on a summer visit to Atlanta, GA. My eldest cousin and an auntie had one of their many legendary dust ups while a bunch of us stepped out. When we returned to the house there was a picture of a cartoon pig in a colorful plaid shirt covering up a hole in the dry wall. Whatever the conflict was, my cousin unleashed her frustrations there. Ahhhhh family.
Pork In the Movies
“My God. You killed a fucking pig!” In one of my favorite movies of all time, the original Predator movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Dutch Schafer, a pig became the topic of discussion. Late at night while trying to trap the alien predator hunting them down, a wild boar sprung one of the traps created by Dutch’s gradually shrinking elite special missions team. “Poncho” played by Richard Chavez observes that “Mack” played by Bill Duke has bludgeoned and killed the wild boar, instead of the alien he has become obsessed with.
Breathing heavily Mack returns a f-bomb to Poncho as “Billy” played by Sonny Lanham bellows out his characteristic laugh. The pig in this movie was more of a supporting character if you will, but there are also movies where the animal was featured in the title. Two examples are Wild Hogs starring John Travolta and Ray Liotta. There’s also silly early 1980s film Porky’s.
“We have some tomatoes, sausage and nice CRISPY bacon!” This classic line is from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring movie. In this iconic scene, the four Hobbit protagonists camped out at “Weathertop”. They were in the early stages of the quest to destroy the one ring. Frodo played by Elijah Wood wakes up to see Merry played by Dominic Monaghan (quoted), Pippin (Billy Boyd) and Sam (Sean Astin) preparing a hearty snack which unfortunately alerts the Nazgul (the Ring Wraiths) to their presence.
“I want to eat some of those HOG MAWS! I want to eat some of those PIG FEET!” This final iconic movie scene that I’ll cite comes from Ice Cube’s classic comedy, Friday. In this early scene in the movie, Craig (Ice Cube) is in the refrigerator foraging for food. Mr. Jones played by the late John Witherspoon, finds Craig and mischievously chastises his son for eating up all the food and for losing his job.
Hail The Hogs and Hog Heaven
This may all sound absurd to you as the reader, but pork has also been celebrated in the sports world. During the former Washington Redskins championship run under Head Coach Joe Gibbs, their offensive line was nicknamed “The Hogs”. They were large and imposing and ‘hogged’ the line of scrimmage to the benefit of their many great running backs. While many people lamented the Native American symbolism, many passionate Redskins fans also wore pig snouts in the stands to show their support for their beloved franchise.
Finally, the University of Arkansas-Fayettville’s sole national championship on the basketball court was nicknamed “Hog Heaven” by Sports Illustrated. The school mascot for Coach Nolan Richardon’s Arkansas basketball team was the “Razorback” which is basically once again a wild boar. An avid college basketball fan at the time, that was a memorable championship for numerous reasons. One of the biggest was President Bill Clinton, an Arkansas native and his wife Hillary attended the national championship game. Okay now I’ll get on with the main discussion of this piece which involves pork as a food.
Our Early Diet and Proteins
Mom, who cooked for us most of the time, never prepared or served pork to my brother and me when we were growing up. That said, we could have it on occasion, particularly on our pizza (pepperoni) on Friday nights. Those Friday nights in Buffalo, which I have fond memories of, were our designated eating out nights where the cuisine was either Burger King, Chinese food or pizza and wings.
For those of you who don’t know, one of Buffalo’s signature cuisines is pizza and wings. You can get them on pretty much any of the main arteries of the city. My brother and I readily ordered pepperoni on our pizza and it’s still something I order on my pizza these days, along with mushrooms.
If you ever go to Buffalo, by the way, you must get the pizza and wings with blue cheese. Most any restaurant will do, but some of the bigger pizza restaurants are the Anchor Bar, Bocce’s, La Nova’s, Leonardi’s and Santora’s. There are also lesser-known pizzerias like Avenue Pizza and Just Pizza. You know you’ve got the real thing when the pepperoni slices curl up into little cups with oil pooled in the middle. Seriously.
Oh. One more Buffalo/Western New York-related treat you absolutely must try if you haven’t, is the “Sahlen’s” hotdogs which are made with pork and beef. I have wonderful childhood memories of consuming the long and flavorful hotdogs at church picnics and barbecues. When grilled over coals, the casings develop a signature ‘crunch’ when you bite into them. Many Buffalonians fiend for the Sahlen’s hotdogs when they move away and even order them for consumption at their current home.
My family had beef more readily when we ate out, but our proteins at home consisted mostly of fish and poultry. Though you might not expect it, Buffalo also has its share of steak shops similar to those found in Philadelphia. The “City of Brotherly Love” is known for its cheese steaks, and we also have them in Buffalo.
A Porkless Diet
Some of you may be wondering how one could grow up not eating pork chops, pork ribs, pork bacon or “souse“, but it is entirely possible. For those who don’t know what souse is, it’s pickled, specially seasoned chopped pork parts (ears, for example) held together in a gel-type of substance. If you ever go to Miami for example, you can get it at most barbecue rib shacks along with “rib sandwiches”.
By the way, a rib sandwich isn’t a sandwich per se. At one of these shacks, I actually asked how you could eat a sandwich with the bones still in the meat, and they looked at me like I was crazy. It’s just a portion of ribs served with white bread on the side in a styrofoam container.
Finally, pork never made it onto our holiday dinner tables. There was no holiday ham, or chitterlings (aka chittlins). To this day I’ve never tried chitterlings. My late grandmother made them for the above-mentioned anonymous aunt one time. It might’ve been Thanksgiving. They stunk up the entire hallway and from childhood on, I was never interested in them.
For the older generations, other parts of the pig were popular too such as pickled pig feet. I was never interested in those either. It’s also worth noting that vegetables like collard greens were often made tastier when cooked with pork, but there are other methods today.
Dad’s Aversion to Pork
“There’s no pork in this right?” I’d made a pot of Jambalaya with chicken and sausage as the featured proteins, one of Emiril LaGasse’s succulent recipes. Before scooping some out, Dad saw fit to verify that I wasn’t about to poison him with the “swine”. In Black Muslim circles, pork is referred to as swine. I knew of Dad’s aversion to pork and wouldn’t dare think of feeding him the other white meat.
“No Dad, there’s no pork in it,” I said, partially smiling. Knowing of his disdain of pork, I was both surprised but not surprised to hear his suspicion that I would attempt to feed it to him.
I don’t recall when Dad became averse to pork and pork products. One of the many books he had laying around his home was How To Eat To Live, by the legendary Honorable Elijah Muhammad of the Nation of Islam. I first heard of the book in the song Beef, by the rapper KRS-One in my teens, a song that I might still have mostly memorized. In any case, yes, Dad became averse to anything pork-related at some point.
Any of you who have read my writings up to this point know that my Dad has told me interesting stories over the years. Several have involved pork. One of my favorites that I first heard was when I lived with him in my early 30s as I was transitioning into my federal science career. Read on to see it for yourself. During that two-and-a-half-year stretch, we got how shall I say, better acquainted, as my parents divorced when I was three years old.
Beef Chop Suey: The Breakfast Of Champions……For a Little While at Least……
Dad was a man of routines, especially when it came to his diet. Part of his routine involved getting Beef Chop Suey from one of the local Chinese restaurants. He would have it for breakfast on Friday mornings. In fact, he was so regular that he said they knew what he was going to order whenever he walked in the door.
“What’s Up?”, I’d wake up seeing him bent over his kitchen counter in his undershirt and boxers, eating the protein, vegetables, and rice out of the Tupperware he warmed it up in. He was in a state of euphoria as he gobbled it down. It would be his biggest meal of the day because he, “Ate breakfast like King, lunch like a Prince, and dinner like a Pauper!”
Dad’s kitchen smelled good on those Friday mornings when he nuked his Beef Chop Suey. Just like the Long John Silver’s fish planks he ate on Thursday night; it was like clockwork. Then one day, the beef chop suey stopped abruptly.
“I think they put pork in my Beef Chop Suey. After I ate it, I could feel little things running across my body!” He acted out the sensation, moving his fingers in a piano-playing motion from his right side to his left side. He was convinced. It’s one of my favorite father-son moments of all time and it makes me laugh every time I think about it. It was possible, I guess. I also noticed that he would change his routines every now then just to ‘do something different.’
Dad’s Most Astounding Pork Story
Dad’s most powerful pork story, though, involved some of relatives from down south. I never met them because of the divorce. He told me that these people ate pork all the time, in addition to putting mayonnaise on everything. By the way mayonnaise, just like cheese, does make most everything taste better, though it is loaded with calories. I think using them together in a meal on a burger, for example, is considered “doubling your fats”.
“My one cousin ate so much pork that he started to look like a hog!” This one claim from Dad is forever etched into my mind verbatim. It also makes me laugh every time I think about it. It was like a classmate from South Carolina at Johnson C. Smith University. This individual insisted that he witnessed someone’s limb regrow as the person was prayed over during a church service. Like Dad’s pork story, I wondered if this classmate was delusional, imagined it or if the story was true.
“His face started to elongate into a snout, and his ears actually started to become pointy like those of a pig,” Dad said with conviction, once again affirming that he saw what he thought he saw. If it sounds like a fantastic story to you, the reader, imagine how I felt listening to it in real time.
You Are What You Eat
In any case, maybe the Honorable Elijah Muhammad was right in that you are what you eat. In closing, I’ve never officially sworn off pork myself. I still like it on my pizza, and there’s nothing like the crunch and the taste of pork bacon or a fried pork chop every once in a while.
My best friend and my Uncle “Ice” also both prepare very, very tasty barbecue pork ribs albeit in different ways. The Midwest is in fact known for its barbecue which includes the afore mentioned ribs, but also pulled pork sandwiches. Finally there’s also nothing like a Sausage McMuffin with Egg (and cheese) from McDonalds; again, every once and a while.
Pork is also a popular protein in the cuisines of other countries and ethnicities. Look at pretty much any Asian or Latin American menu for example, and you’ll see several pork-based dishes available. As a postdoctoral scientist in a lab with mostly Chinese colleagues, I noticed that pork was a very popular protein at our lab gatherings. I recall a Canadian friend of West Indian descent ordering some “Jerk Pork” one night in Toronto, ON. Chicago is known for its Polish Sausages, which are very, very good. I’ve also heard individuals from Pennsylvania discuss a Dutch pork dish called “Scrapple”. Finally, there’s the stereotypical whole roasted pig with the apple in its mouth at Hawaiian luaus.
The Author’s Post Thoughts/Reflections
“I WON’T GET MAD AT YOU IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO EAT IT. BUT DON’T TELL ME NOT TO EAT IT EITHER!” If you haven’t deduced it from this piece, pork consumption can be a big deal depending on your values and the circle you come from. At a church service years ago, a clergyman whom I’ll call Pastor Gray of the Jordan River Missionary Baptist Church in Buffalo, NY started passionately preaching about eating pork.
It was probably a bit of a pushback on the resurgence the Nation of Islam’s doctrines at that time. One of their biggest teachings of course involved not eating pork. Those doctrines were reenergized by the conscious Hip Hop music of the time (the late 1980s and early 1990s). When he got deep into his sermons, Pastor Gray became very passionate. His high-pitched voice ascended to a bit of a scream or a wail, a hallmark of many black preachers. His passion would startle you back to consciousness if you just happened to doze off for a moment.
I told this story here on Big Words Authors partially out of humor. However, it also is a bit of a thought piece. My mother was very vigilant about our diets early on. I’m very grateful for that as the majority of her dietary habits have stayed with me. We never got sick much and to this day I still don’t. As we all age, it’s also important to be mindful of our diets and incorporating more fresh fruits and vegetables.
I didn’t always understand his eating habits and his eating schedule. That said, Dad’s avoidance of pork may be a contributor to a relatively healthy life. Perhaps it is true that, “You are what you eat!” The opening quote of this piece, by the way, comes from the afore-mentioned song by KRS-OneBeef.
The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story Part One is available in the eBook, Hardcover and Paperback Editions
Writing a book was the genesis of my blogging and becoming a video content creator. I have published part one of my book project entitled, The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story. It is currently available on Amazon in eBook, hardcover, and paperback formats. The paperback format is available on IngramSpark, and signed hardcover and paperback copies on my online store entitled Big Words Authors via credit payment. Payment using Cash App, PayPal, Venmo and Zelle is also available. Reach out to me for further details. Finally visit the page discussing the book. Please consider visiting it to learn more about the project and see promotional content I’ve created surrounding the project.
Hello. Thank you for clicking on this link, and I hope you enjoy this essay. Writing a book was the genesis of my blogging and becoming a video content creator. I have published part one of my book project entitled, The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story. It is currently available on Amazon in eBook, hardcover, and paperback formats. The paperback format is available on IngramSpark, and signed hardcover and paperback copies on my online store entitled Big Words Authors via credit credit payment. Payment using Cash App, PayPal, Venmo and Zelle are also available. Reach out to me for further detials. Finally visit the page discussing the book. Please consider visiting it to learn more about the project and see promotional content I’ve created surrounding the project. And now on to our feature presentation.
This short story on Big Words Authors comes from my hometown of Buffalo, NY. It involves something that most everyone who has grown up in the inner city has experienced. Sometimes situations in life come find you, even when you are not looking for them.
“Yea, though I walk through the valley in the shadows of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.” Psalms 23:4
The last time I walked on the east side of Buffalo after dark was in the late 1990s. It was definitely after high school and it was before I started graduate school. I was an undergraduate in my late teens and early twenties. Like Detroit, my hometown of Buffalo, NY had started developing its own reputation for violence and deviant behavior, a hallmark of many of the deindustrialized cities in the United States. If you’re curious about such things, a good book to read would be “The Code of The Street: Decency, Violence, and the Moral Life of the Inner City” by Dr. Elijah Anderson who describes this phenomenon in Philadelphia.
Hanging Out on Chuck’s Street
It was a summer night like so many I’d experienced growing up in my beloved hometown. I was on my friend Chuck’s street, Martha, which was near the Suffolk Street intersection and the 33 (Kensington) Expressway. It was the summertime, the sun had set and the streetlights came on after 8 pm. I was no longer a child so I could technically hang out as long as I wanted to with no recourse from my mother. We’d started doing that in high school anyway. I was home on summer break, and was living unsupervised most of the year now already because I was attending school down south.
Chuck was one of many ‘class clowns’ at Hutchinson Central Technical High School (Hutch-Tech) while I was there. He just happened to be one from my graduating class. We befriended one another in our freshman year and were tight ever since, along with another friend by the name of Hestin. Our friendships lasted long after we received our diplomas in the mid-1990s. Starting in high school, it was nothing for me to wander over to Chuck’s house from my own and come back after dark as it was only a 10–15-minute walk.
While at Chuck’s house we’d hang out on his porch, shooting the breeze with the other kids on his street. We would indulge in ‘ribbing’ on each other and talk about all kinds of things in the sports and hip-hop worlds, people we knew around town, girls we wanted to get with – everything. There were always lots and lots of laughs and jokes, some of which Chuck authored and some at his expense. It was always a good time.
A Buffalo Summer Night Unlike Any Other
One night after dark I left Chuck’s porch, I headed for home but this time with a different outcome than previous nights. It was a night I would never forget. That particular night I turned up Millicent Avenue and planned to walk down Orleans Street back to my mother’s street. As I strolled carefree up the street, not far from the corner a car pulled up alongside me, starting events that would forever change my life.
“WERE YOU TRYING TO BREAK INTO MY CAR, MAN?” The driver of the car was a menacing-looking black man who could have been in his twenties. If my memory serves me correctly, he wore a short afro and was brown skinned. He might have been wearing all black and maybe not. At nighttime, most dark colors look the same. It was one of those instances which triggers your “Fight or Flight Response” because you know there is imminent danger. It all happened so fast that I didn’t ponder trying to run. Had I tried, he had a clear advantage. By default, I chose trying to reason with him.
“WERE YOU TRYING TO BREAK INTO MY CAR MAN?” He stopped his car and got out, crossed the street, and approached me. I felt my chest pounding and my breath shortening in anticipation of whatever was going to happen next.
“NO, I WASN’T. IT WASN’T ME,” I said holding my hands up in surrender hoping that he would recognize that I was the last person who would try to do such a thing to his car.
“WERE YOU TRYING TO BREAK INTO MY CAR MAN?” I felt something hard collide with the side of my head, knocking me back. Is this really happening to me? My mind raced is the situation continued unfolding.
“WERE YOU TRYING TO BREAK INTO MY CAR MAN?” Something else collided with the side of my head further disorienting me. I looked around for help on the street, but this was the one night no one seemed to be out on their porches. Even if they were out, would someone have helped? To the casual onlooker, me and my assailant could have been a drug dealer and junkie, a bookie and someone who owed him money, or a man seeking revenge on someone who sought to break into his car. We could have been any one of the now ubiquitous statistics involving violence and young black men in the United States’ inner cities.
Running for Safety
I turned and ran at first out into the street hoping that someone would see us. A car speeding down the street slammed on its breaks and honked, and then kept going. Again, this could have been an altercation taking place for any number of reasons and why would someone else look to get involved?
My assailant caught me, and I waited for him to present a weapon in that early Buffalo twilight. Something else slammed into the side of my head, this time dropping me to the ground. I waited for what I thought was certain death. I laid still on the ground as the world went silent, waiting for my fate which I just knew was going to involve a gun. After moments of silence, I looked up slowly, and my assailant was gone. I got myself together and then hurried back home.
As I scurried up Millicent to Orleans and then my mother’s street, I turned and looked around every corner. My hands burned slightly from some scrapes on my skin. I probably got them when I fell on the ground. My mind continued racing. Is he still out here? Is he going to come back for me? Why is this happening?
As I entered the house, Mom was in her bedroom praying, just getting up from her bedside if my memory is accurate. In those stages of our lives, she had progressed on her spiritual journey. She told me that she was praying around the time that I described my altercation. It was the second time, she experienced one of her sons coming home after a near life and death experience. The first was my brother’s second or third year of high school when he and some buddies went to a party on the westside of Buffalo where they didn’t know anyone. I remember that night vividly as well.
Getting Closure
In the aftermath of it all, I was a bit shaken up mentally. It was my first time learning that trouble can come find you, even when you haven’t done anything to stir it. All you have to do is look like someone else. This is what’s called a crime of mistaken identity, and I recall my Dad telling me a similar story from his youth in the New York City subway system. I suddenly didn’t feel safe in my neighborhood or my city. What if I ran into this guy again?
One of Mom’s approaches to help me get past the incident was to physically walk with me down Millicent Avenue so that I could mentally confront the incident and get closure on it. I recall feeling a sense of resentment and not wanting to go back there. She was right and it was for the best, to at least get past the fear that was dominating my soul.
“I’ve been walking these streets for years and nothing ever happened to me,” Chucky said afterwards when I told him what happened. I didn’t hear any compassion or sympathy in his voice. I didn’t know if he was just saying that to be a smartass or just making an observation. In hindsight it could have been either, but it sounded like because he’d never experienced it, what happened to me was somehow invalid.
“Well Bro, it’s no secret that some folks in the family question your toughness.” In what was one of many such declarations throughout our lives, my brother put his gift of delivery and counsel on display. It was my first ever visit to see him in “Sin City” (Las Vegas), a lively visit in which our best friend left within one night over some silly spat with my brother.
We ended up in a spat too, and in my case, I resented my brother for a while after he made his judgement on me and the remainder of that trip was ruined. I remember getting on my flight and making eye contact with him as I walked into the jetway with everyone else. I felt bad about being angry with him. He looked back at me wondering what he’d said wrong. My visit to the desert shouldn’t have finished that way. We were brothers and we were all we had as Mom often said then and years later. Over time I got passed it.
Walking The East Side of Buffalo After Dark
“I walk the streets of Buffalo at night and have been doing so for a while,” my then stepfather said. “I see some streets and when I look down them, they might look dangerous and I don’t go down them. If some trouble comes towards me, I feel confident that I can get out of it or handle it, but I’ve never been discouraged from walking the east side at nighttime.” He was an older man and a Vietnam veteran, so I imagine he’d seen much worse than the east side of Buffalo after dark.
In any case, that was the last time I walked the east side of Buffalo after dark. Would I do it if I absolutely had to today? Sure. But like so many inner cities described in the above-mentioned book by Dr. Elijah Anderson, I won’t do it if unnecessary. If I do, I’ll follow my father’s sage wisdom. A child of upper Manhattan, at some point he started telling us to, “Keep your eyes moving at all times!”
If I had to walk the east side of Buffalo after dark today, I most certainly would. I’d walk it knowing that trouble may come to find me, even I’m not looking for it. I would know that there’s the threat of violence, and potentially death for me or someone else.
Post Story Reflections/Thoughts
Some experiences permanently become a part of us. This experience is one that I will never forget. We may gain closure and heal from the negative experiences in our lives, but some things you never forget. Furthermore, in the United States’ inner cities, for everyone there is the threat of violence. Dr. Elijah Anderson covered this in his book Code of The Street. Finally, to this day when I visit Buffalo, my mother reminds me every time I go out to, “Be careful out there!” I likewise try to get in and out of the city without anything bad happening whenever I visit.
The Big Words LLC Newsletter
For the next phase of my writing journey, I’m starting a monthly newsletter for my writing and video content creation company, the Big Words LLC. In it, I plan to share inspirational words, pieces from this blog and my first blog, and select videos from my four YouTube channels. Your personal information and privacy will be protected. Email me at bwllcnl@gmail.com . Best Regards.
Hello. Thank you for clicking on this link, and I hope you enjoy this essay. Writing a book was the genesis of my blogging and becoming a video content creator. I have published part one of my book project entitled, The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story. It is currently available on Amazon in eBook, hardcover, and paperback formats. The paperback format is available on IngramSpark, and signed hardcover and paperback copies on my online store entitled Big Words Authors via credit credit payment. Payment using Cash App, PayPal, Venmo and Zelle are also available. Reach out to me for further details. Finally visit the page discussing the book. Please consider visiting it to learn more about the project and see promotional content I’ve created surrounding the project. And now on to our feature presentation.
My First Short Story on Big Words Authors
My first short story on Big Words Authors reflects on the pre-Covid-19 world. It involves the importance of human-to-human interaction. It focuses on people and a specific couple I used to see on the metro, among others.
The Lifeblood Of The Washington DC Area
In the Washington, DC metropolitan region, thousands of federal employees, military service people, contractors and other workers commute daily. They use the Washington Metro Area Transit Authority (WMATA) trains and buses to travel to their places of business. Likewise the metro system is arguably the lifeblood of the region upon which everything runs. Depending on what time you start your commute, you can see familiar faces. Adjust your time just a little bit, and you’ll see a whole new set of faces. You’ll in fact see the same commuters at the same time daily unless there’s a change of some kind. It could be a doctor’s appointment, a meeting, an emergency – anything in that person’s life that day.
The Twice A Day Eight Car Mixing Bowl
Prior to the Covid-19 pandemic, there was a couple I saw regularly on the Yellow Line train. I normally commuted to and from Crystal City, VA when I saw them. I actually saw a lot of people on the trains in the mornings and evenings. Many got on the train at specific hours. Whenever I went into the office earlier or later than my usual time, I saw different commuters on my route.
As a single man, obviously the women stood out to me the most. I saw many that I wanted to talk to of varying races and ethnicities. The metro however wasn’t always the optimal place to ‘cold approach’ them. In terms of learning ‘game’ for which there are courses now, cold approaching is simply striking up a conversation with a woman you don’t know who has sparked your interest.
Sometimes, you can wait because you’ll probably see the woman again, but in a city like Washington, DC where people are constantly coming and going, you might have to make your move when the opportunity is there because the woman may be visiting from out of town, or she may only be on your side of town for a meeting that particular day. In short, you may never see her again if you don’t make a move. Whatever move you make, you must be confident and classy to get the best results, especially with other commuters around, sometimes in earshot of your conversation.
Many people are into their morning rituals, getting ready for the daily battle ahead at their respective government agencies. In the evening people are looking to just go home and relax after a day of battle. Like at the gym, seeing a woman with earbuds on is a bit of a deterrent from going over and saying hello. Some openly converse on their phones and disturbing them would be awkward or rude. The fear of looking foolish in those moving enclosed spaces was also a bit of a deterrent. As a single man this is the reality and you have to decide as the clock ticks, like a quarterback looking for his target as the pass rush closes in.
The Happy Couple on the Metro
In any case, there was one couple I randomly thought about late one Pandemic night when driving to Herndon, VA to watch a Buffalo Bills game. On the 37-minute drive, I decided to not listen to any YouTube podcasts, livestreams, or playbacks, but instead to the rainy-day piano jazz station. As my phone’s GPS guided me to my destination, I listened to the music and my mind drifted off into my creative space and the couple popped into my mind. They were two of hundreds and maybe thousands of people I hadn’t seen since COVID-19 swept around the globe and inflicted lockdowns on our country. It made those of us who were fortunate to do so, work remotely from home 100% of the time.
Some mornings, or evenings, or both, I would see the couple. I lived near the Huntington Metro stop, the southern terminal of the Yellow Line. The couple would arrive at the station together in the morning, sit next to one another and make their morning commute. They were a middle-aged black couple. I can tell you that he wore glasses and I think she did too. Both were always dressed professionally. He might have worn a mustache and he had a studious look about him. She was an attractive woman.
As I waited for the train to take me home one evening at Crystal City, I saw her seated on the Yellow line as it pulled into the station. She caught my observant single man’s eye. I noticed she was looking for someone on the platform. It was him. He too was looking for her from the platform.
Once they made eye contact, he jumped on the metro car and they happily sat next to one another for the ride back to Huntington. They coordinated their evening commutes so that they could ride home together, a sign that these two people were genuinely in love with one another. One of my ex-girlfriends and I had something similar before our relationship turned for the worse, but that’s a story for a different day.
Appearance vs. Reality
This is what made me think about this couple. They looked so happy as they made those commutes together. I don’t know if they had children. I don’t know if this was their first, second or third marriage. Perhaps they figured it out on the first try, unlike so many other people in these modern technological times where families are different, both genders are educated and the gender roles have been blurred. I don’t know. What I can tell you is that they genuinely looked both happy and peaceful as they rode from stop to stop.
They could have gone home and fought like cats and dogs. When they got into their car, she might have started giving him the business and talking his ear off about her day. They may have gone home and partitioned themselves into different rooms for the remainder of the night. They may not have been the couple portrayed as dutifully riding together in the morning and the evening. After all, from experience, I’ve learned that you never know what’s happening with a couple behind closed doors, no matter the outward appearance.
I did sense, however, that they were genuinely happy based upon the energy they gave off and what my spirit discerned. They had figured out something that had been forgotten for a significant number of the rest of the population in the generation before and after mine. They were happy, or at least looked so on the outside for all of us to see.
The Author’s Post Story Reflections/Thoughts
There are several significances to this story. First. While our morning and evening commutes were burdensome and tiring on some days, they were a way of life. Furthermore there was value to seeing faces you both did and did not recognize. In the Washington, DC area, I especially disliked the commutes in the mid-summer humidity which lurked even at nighttime. Again though, there was value to those commutes.
Second. During our work days, there’s a lot going on. Whether its commuting, going to lunch or going for coffee at Starbucks, you never know who is watching you. I’m certain the couple in this story on the metro, had no idea I noticed them. I did however notice the harmony and love for each other they displayed outwardly. They were rare in today’s world. They probably never would have thought that I would remember them on that random Saturday night. If I see them again, perhaps I will share this with them.
The Big Words LLC Newsletter
For the next phase of my writing journey, I’m starting a monthly newsletter for my writing and video content creation company, the Big Words LLC. In it, I plan to share inspirational words, pieces from this blog and my first blog, and select videos from my four YouTube channels. Finally, I will share updates for my book project The Engineers: A Western New York Basketball Story. Your personal information and privacy will be protected. If you are interested in joining my email list, you can also email me at bwllcnl@gmail.com . Best Regards.
